"I Am Open to Feeling Better"
/Last week my flow was missing. I felt overwhelmed and anxious; I was doubting myself in all aspects of my life. My monkey mind was saying the meanest things and I couldn’t make it stop. I felt completely uninspired and unmotivated.
Before starting the primal lifestyle I would have sunk into a self-soothing session of wine and chocolate. I’ve since learned healthier stress management tools, so I tried them all in an attempt to feel better. I hiked. I berry picked. I created in the kitchen. I meditated. The activities worked temporarily, but the feelings and doubt kept creeping back. This confused me; I became even more frustrated!
Finally, I decided to sit with the feelings and let them be. I acknowledged the doubt and self-loathing, but also considered the possibility that that they weren’t permanent states. Even though it didn’t feel like it, the feelings might just pass.
Thankfully, when I made the decision to let “it” be, each progressive morning I felt a little better, a little lighter. Like a fading dream upon waking, I started to lose the intensity of the experience. Before long, I felt like my appreciative, confident, flowing self.
I talked to my fabulous Coach Ginny about the experience. She explained that sometimes we have to allow the low feelings to exist in order to release them, instead of trying to make them go away.
Ginny encouraged me to say, “I am open to feeling better,” instead of trying to force feed myself positivity. Isn’t that a great idea?
That wasn’t my first bout of lows, nor will it be the last. I’m old enough to realize that these feelings tend to show up when I am not aligned with my truth, when I am headed for a transition, or when my hormones are cyclically wacky. These moments can serve as learning experiences that expand my awareness.
The next time my healthy tricks don’t instantly resolve negative states I will acknowledge the feelings and let them be. I will say, “I am open to feeling better.” Perhaps I will reread these words and understand that “this too shall pass.” And then it will. When I am on the other side I know I will appreciate the growth that occurs in the process.
Have you had similar experiences or understandings? I would love to hear your thoughts!